Thursday, January 26, 2012

Walking to Emmaus

Two weekends ago, I wrote about Rocky being on a spiritual journey and that I would go the following weekend.  So I’m back.  It was an unbelievable weekend.  There were times I wondered why I chose to attend, but by the end, I was convinced it was the best way to spend that weekend.  It truly was where God wanted and needed me to be.

It’s difficult to describe the weekend and the only way I’ve been able to come up with is it’s a weekend filled with God’s grace & love.  I felt his grace & love in ways I never have before, and in ways I don’t anticipate feeling again.

I was fortunate to know many of the women on the walk.  There were several from our church, most from our small (growing larger) group.  It was nice to be have women there I was already comfortable with, who knew who I was leaving behind.  It was hard.  It was really hard to leave my girls behind, knowing I wouldn’t be able to see or speak to them until Sunday.  I couldn’t help the tears of sadness Thursday night and on Friday.  It was the first time I have slept alone since before Jessie was born.  Amazing, when you think about it. 

I learned things about myself and about God.  My weakness, my sins were laid before me.  But I was also able to spend time in His Word, without really being in his Word.  I wish I had brought my Bible as there were many verses, passages I wrote down that I wanted to mark then and there.  It feels different for me, to mark scripture in my Bible rather than just writing down the verse.  Seeing it in context, to the book, to the rest of the books.

Things come to me at odd times now that I’m back in the real world.  I don’t feel different, yet I know I am.  I find myself wondering why other people aren’t different – then I remind myself that I have changed.

The women’s weekend theme was a Red Door, which means welcome in old American tradition.  A red door would tell a traveler that this is a welcoming place of rest.  A traveler would know that they would be welcomed in, given food and a place to stay.  And that’s what the Walk was for me.  It was a welcome, a re-welcome, to God and to new Sisters in Christ.  I was given food (oh Lord, was I given FOOD!)  And it was a place of rest.

But they urged him strongly, "Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over." So he went in to stay with them.  Luke 24: 29

1 comment:

  1. "I find myself wondering why other people aren't different-- then I remind myself that I have changed." I can SO relate to this-- I've had this feeling so often.

    I feel a little bit at sea as I deepen in my faith, because aside from the class I'm taking and a couple of friends, I have nobody to discuss it with. My blog has become my outlet in that regard, and I'm sure some of the people reading it think I've lost my mind, but I'd post so much more than I do if I could just let myself completely own this. I'm working hard to do that.