Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Not ready for a real announcement

The real announcement will come later. This is just for me. I'll post it after the real announcement, but by that time, it will probably be a little hidden, unless someone comes looking for it.

I'm pregnant. I tested 2 weeks ago during the Vikings/Packers Monday Night Football game -- 2 days before I was "late" -- because, and I do have to admit this, Rocky brought home some really good beer and I wanted to know if I could have one. And I couldn't. And I told Rocky with "well, your boys can still swim." I wasn't really worried about becoming pregnant again. The last pregnancy, a surprise, showed me that we are still fertile. I've been worried since the miscarriage about being able to carry the pregnancy through.


And here I am at 6 weeks and still pregnant. Our first OB appointment is November 10 and we will have an ultrasound right before. My OB has already put my on progesterone, which is extremely interesting in itself. Used one way, it brings a woman's cycles on track. Used the way I'm using it, helps keep a viable pregnancy moving forward. The prescription is much more expensive than I expected: $60/30 pills. And I will need to get it filled one more time. At first I rather balked at the thought of paying $120 for this prescription. But then what is a healthy pregnancy worth?


And now here I am with the worries: will this pregnancy continue? if it does, how will Maggie react? And then the guilt. Guilt for moving on after the miscarriage. Guilt for changing our family dynamic.

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